Plastic Cheese

Lesson of the day: never eat cheddar cheese immediately after brushing your teeth- it’s worse than orange juice mingled with that fake minty fresh flavor. In fact, the toothpaste has an inexplicable ability to make the cheese taste like plastic (or maybe the taste is closer to veggie dogs). I never realized it before, but the texture of cheese has an uncanny resemblance to soft plastic.

Of course, toothpaste isn’t the only one at fault in this stalemate of flavors. Have you ever noticed how cheddar has the ability to make even the freshest of breath go instantly sour? The second you pop a piece of cheese in your mouth, you are cursed with breath that smells like you�ve never seen the jolly white tooth man that raps in front of impressionable elementary school children and hands out neon colored toothbrushes with glow in the dark stars.

Alas, how can such a wonderful thing as cheese have such adverse effects?

On their website, claims that they are the “leader in e-transactions”. So then, let me give you one good reason not to buy anything from a merchant that uses iBill: their phone number is disconnected.

I discovered this when I tried to call the phone number on my credit card statement (the same one on their website) when I wanted to inquire about the mysterious continuous charges I’ve been receiving from a transaction I have never authorized ( an apparent report paper cheat site). Luckily, the charge was only five odd dollars every month, but it�s still a mild irritation that I have had to cancel my credit card for the second time in a little over a year (the first cancellation was because my purse was taken from me at gun-point in the University District). I suppose this also means that it will be the second time in a little over a year that I have to file a fraud protection report with all three credit companies.

Oh well, the plus side of filing fraud protection reports is that I won’t be getting credit card advertisements for another year. I should also add that this is perfect timing as I received my first credit card ad since I was robbed just yesterday.