Dreams For A New Aged Future

One of my dreams is to earn a Master’s in creative writing.

One of my dreams is to live in Japan and teach English for a year—or two.

My biggest dream is to support myself with my writing. Of course I want to write the fun stuff—novels, short stories, movie scripts, an ocassional essay for the Paris Review. But I’m also happy with the “not fun stuff”—technical manuals and documents, web content, help articles. And I’m close to making a living writing the “not fun stuff”. The only thing stopping me is the “making a living” part. I have yet to earn enough money (or enough of a steady flow of money) to consistently pay the bills and provide medical care for both me and my aging dog. Hell, I don’t even ask for medical insurance right now, although it’s mighty nice to have. I just want a roof over my head and to be able to afford the dentist and my dog’s meaty perscription dog food. And I don’t want my boyfriend to continue footing the overflow of things I can’t afford.

I’ve had these dreams for a long time now. And I feel a significant part of my current depression stems from being frustrated at not having adequtely moved towards the life I dream about. Now, mind you, I’m not saying that my depression is only because I’m frustrated with where my life is (or isn’t), but that this feeling has made the dull seed of depression I’ve lived with since my mother died flare up.

Just the other day, I came across the following exerpt from a book written by Sonia Choquette, an apparent psychic and New Age guru:

Take fifteen minutes a day to mentally tend your imagination garden. Just before bed is often a good time. Because the subconscious mind responds very well to ritual, pick a special outfit to wear when going into your creative garden. (Pajamas are fine, if they are special.) Putting on special clothes will prime your subconscious mind and put it into the receptive mode.

…When I have created the proper ambiance, I close my eyes and meditate on my Heart’s Desire. I try to envision it as a movie that I am starring in, rather than simply watching from afar. I enjoy my creative movie for a few moments, then open my eyes. Finally, I write down what I want to create, and then I read it back, out loud.

I took the liberty to cut out parts where she talks about how she wears a sacred kimono, lights incense, and listens to soothing meditation music to create her proper ambience. Whacky spiritual New Age pajamas and music aside, I feel like Sonia is the best free counselor I could have accidently run into. And I have a random Google search on something completely unrelated to thank. Maybe it was a good, healthy dose of New Age Fate.

I strongly believe there is something to be said for the imagination and meditation. I can see how using those two together in the way described above makes one feel happier and more empowered. It also focuses the mind and allows for a clearer understanding of what one desires in their life, which in turn hopefully allows them to see a clearer pathway towards that desire.

Now excuse me while I go find some spirital PJs and dust off the high school flame’s CD full of New Age music he composed and performed. I have a happy imagination garden to go tend to, where I am a well-fed writer earning royalties from a movie script and few literary novels.