Pilfered From Work:
Bagel Count: 2 and 1/2
Chocolate Count: 0
Bottled Water Count: 2
Plant Count: 1 glazed pot from Bruning Pottery

When people walk into the building for the first time, they usually stare in awe at the ceiling and look in confusion at everything other than the reception desk. After a moment of turning this way and that in a frenzied panic, they eventually notice me watching serenely from the reception desk two feet away. Typically, the confusion vanishes from their faces as they realize that I am the reception desk person who holds all the answers to their greatest needs. They bow down to my humble self in awe and reverence, proffering gifts of chocolate and houseplants to express sincere humility and deepest apologies for having not seen the holy light that is my reception desk when they first entered.

Though sometimes, this is not the case. Sometimes, like today, someone will enter the building and completely ignore my existence. Being a bitter college student who wants a little respect now and then, it pisses me off to no end when that suit clad yuppie whore of a someone can completely ignore me after I repeatedly greet them. How many times do I have to say, “Hello, can I help you?” How loudly do I have to say, “Hello, can I help you?”

Have it your way, suit clad yuppie whore. If you want to ignore me and make me sound like an idiot, then I’ll just sit in my comfy chair and stare at my computer screen while you’re legs skitter some random direction without actually knowing where they’re going. I’ll recline back and write about you while I sadistically take glee from the fact that you have no idea where the hell you’re going in this massive structure of a Jewish center. I’ll snicker as you dash from one room to the next like the Starbucks patronizing cockroach you are as you vainly attempt to find a piece of rotting meat to gnaw on. If you had stopped to ask, then you would have learned that there are no pieces of rotting meat to gnaw on here; only clean and foodless floors.