Best in What?

I just experienced the misfortune of reading about the newest reality TV show, Show Dogs Moms and Dads. The title makes me glad that my TV is a 13 inch VCR-in-the-bottom contraption that is unplugged and stuffed into a random niche. And yet… and yet… I so desperately want to see this show. Granted, the name lacks all flow and intrigue that the title of Desperate Housewives possesses, but the concept sounds so deliciously demented. I imagine it to be even more outrageous than Best in Show, if only based on the sole fact that it’s a reality show and not a movie. Afterall, reality TV shows are somewhat based in reality, right?

In my mind, Show Dogs Moms and Dads has fanatical dog owners imposing their own personal failures onto their dogs— much in the way those satanic parents everyone knows force their children to succeed in the stead of their personal shortcomings. As I type this, I can almost see vivid scenes play out on my computer screen of the sweat, the tears, and the temper-tantrums the various dog owners display. The owners put so much of their lives into their dogs- dogs that must win awards and be admired at any cost. Before even the first episode is over, I’ve decided that all of the dog owners are psychotic freaks, and that makes me feel better about all of my personal faults. I turn triumphantly to Tyler and say, “See, look at those people. I’m not nearly as much of a freak as they are! Now you can’t give me a hard time about my dog any longer.”

But, alas, I don’t have cable, and I’ve already exhausted my pirating resources for an episode to download. That means that even if I did want to watch this show, my soul has been rescued by the unfortunate circumstances of it’s unavailability.

Note: For this post only, you are allowed to insult, mock and verbally abuse me in any way you deem suitable.