Mindalee is Unemployed and Worthless

I’ve been working on a portfolio site for the past 72 hours. I’m excited to actually have some of it up on the web now- it’s always like a burden is taken off my shoulders after I upload bits and pieces of my newest web project. Being able to see that it’s finally starting to take shape after endless hours of staring at five different TextEdit pages full of code is what makes the thankless task of web design rewarding to me. I’ll never be one of those people who waits until their entire design is complete before they put it up on the web- never.

Mindalee.com- my new portfolio site

Despite having the design mostly done, the content creation part is always the slowest- even more so than creating any graphics. Perhaps it’s because I’m always so vain about my designs that I’ll spend hours of wasted time staring at the overall design again and again when I could be finishing everything up. For now, the “about” and “words” pages are complete. The “resume” page is mostly complete- I need to figure out some sort of navigation thing for it. The “design” page is only partially complete as there are a lot of graphics and writing that need to be added. “Contact” will hopefully be done by tomorrow. As for “musings”- well- that one’s going to take awhile longer, but it’s the least important page at this point in time.

While I was finishing up the “words” page, I received a rejection email from Richard Hugo House for a marketing position I applied for. It’s hard to keep working on a webpage I’m using for job applications after getting rejected for a job I really wanted. I stopped for a half hour and laid down on the bed, berating myself for how my cover letter must not have been perfect enough.

I was really excited about this position and even spent most of last Friday making what I feel was an amazing portfolio complete with matching resume/cover letter to show off my creativity and design skills. To not even get an interview after all of the time I spent on my application is really disheartening. To have them email me a rejection note after having my resume for no more than two or three days is also really disheartening. All of this being disheartened while working on “job stuff” makes applying for other jobs extra disheartening. Right now, there’s a nagging, pessimistic voice in my head telling me over and over again that there’s no point in applying for jobs when I’m so worthless that I’m only going to see rejection email after rejection email.


  1. Hey–I found your link via toongeek.com. :o) Just thought I'd say that I COMPLETELY feel your pain–I don't know how long you've been looking, but I graduated from college this past December and had started looking in October, but didn't actually land a job till February…January was a really rough month for me. And it's so hard to write so many cover letters (I applied for something like 60 jobs, all pertaining to design somehow–I work as a web designer now) and have them still be original and heartfelt.
    I think you have a really strong portfolio so far–I really like the layout, composition, and color choices, and your web design samples are stronger than mine are. :o) Chin up! Just keep at it, and something will turn up eventually. If I was able to get a job with my hodgepodge of personal and vaguely official work, you'll DEFINITELY get something before long.

  2. You probably won't ever see this, but thanks, Smitha, for your amazing and positive comment to my very unamazing and pessimistic post! Finding work after graduating is probably the hardest trial of most peoples' lives. Thank you so much for the positive reinforcemnet! Good luck to you, and I hope that you do well and have tons of fun with whatever path you take.