Things I Would Like to Attribute to Today’s Full Moon

  1. I was barked at three times today; once by a black standard poodle, once by a man, and once by a male mallard.
  2. A female mallard (the mate of the mallard above) vigorously attacked my shoelaces while I waited for the bus.
  3. A mob of at least twenty Japanese tourists in business suits took pictures of the mallard attacking my shoelaces, then of a bus when it rolled up to the stop, and then of both mallards as they strutted back and forth across heavy traffic.
  4. I was yelled at by a bus driver for standing a mere three feet away from the curb as it pulled up. Didn’t I know it was dangerous to stand only three feet from the curb, even though that’s how far the bus shelter I was standing next to is?
  5. My dog slept in her bed for most of the day, ignoring me even when I came home.
  6. JamesandSarah, the evil upstairs neighbors, signaled their return at promptly 2 PM with screaming and crashing sounds after blessing me with only two days of peace.
  7. As I was picking up various articles of clothing I had dry cleaned, a large mass of cigarette ash spilled out from the plastic bag covering my clothes, presumably coming from one or more articles of clothing. That’s funny, I thought I didn’t smoke.
  8. While riding the bus home, a man sitting behind me “accidently” pulled on my hair because he “thought it was the cord you pull to stop the bus”. He didn’t get off for four more stops.


  1. The universe is clearly a big stupid-head and should just go away.